Saw a pretty rock in the driveway so I brought it in and washed it. I figured the kiddo would like it. Me: Hey kid! Come here a sec. Kiddo: Okay. Do you have something for me? Me: Yep! Here... Continue reading →

Kid: I think my head just wants to get away from me. Me: Do you think it wants to go on vacation? Kid: Yeah, but if my head goes on vacation it would take mine eyes and then I couldn’t... Continue reading →

Kid: dipity doo dah dipity yea my oh my oh what a wocom boctee hilarious shunshine going mah way dipity doo dah dipity yea Muh ba boo boo on a golder it’s a troof it’s actshul every fing is not... Continue reading →

THUMP!! Me (what the hell was that?): Cody? Kid, from bedroom: Waaaaahhhhhhhhh! Me, running down hall: What happened? Kid: WAaaaaaaaaahhh! Me, opening door: Cody? What happened? Kid, muffled from bed, under teddy bear: I don’t want to talk to you…... Continue reading →

Aaron walks into the house… Kid rudely:PAPA!! Can’t you just get over here and hold this so I can smash it with my monster truck?! Aaron, semi-under-the-breath: A sphincter says ‘what?’! Kid: (blank stare) Me: dude… That was so Wayne’s... Continue reading →

Kid: We’re going to go back to that house on the river. And I’m going to bring three balls to juggle with. Me: You mean the house where you stuck your finger in the cake? Kid: And I can juggle... Continue reading →

Kid: Can I watch Yoda? Me: No, Papa likes to watch Yoda with you. Kid: Yeah, Papa likes to watch Yoda with me. Me: You can watch Yoda with Papa later. Kid: Yeah, I’ll watch Yoda with Papa later. Me:... Continue reading →

Kid, from down the hall: WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY MOM?! That drawer is just tipping over, like it’s standing up. Me, clueless: What are you talking about? Kid: That drawer! It’s just standing up. Are you crazy? Me, still clueless:... Continue reading →