In school I was the girl in black avoiding the bullies and rolling her eyes at the cheerleaders who all just seemed so fake, as if the only thing that mattered was to be popular and get everyone to like them no matter what it took.
I was the one with just a handful of friends who just wanted to get through the day and go home without being harassed too much by the so-called “cool kids” because I just wasn’t like them.
I was the one who couldn’t be bothered with school activities because they were mostly filled up with the kids I was trying all day not to be harassed by and all I wanted to do was get out of the building without having to put up with any more crap.
As an adult, I don’t worry about “bullies” anymore, and I really don’t care what people think of me. You either like me or you don’t. I don’t NEED your approval, and I’m certainly not going to grovel for it.
I still feel like I am surrounded by a lot of people who just want other people to like them no matter what it takes. I still feel like I have to be something I am not to “fit in” and I’m NOT going to do it. If you can’t handle me, you can’t handle me. I’m not going to apologize for your issues.
I feel like I am not supposed to speak if it isn’t candy-coated lollipops and rainbows. That I have to be fake and make up happy bunny tales so that people will *think* everything I do is amazing and wonderful and so that they will want to have what (they think) I have, too.
I feel like I can’t be “real”, who wants “REAL LIFE” anyways? There’s enough of that on Reality TV… we want to live in the Dream World where everything goes exactly the way we want it to at all times!
I can’t talk about my bad days, only my good days or I’m labeled “negative”. I’m not allowed to be angry. I’m not allowed to be hurt. I’m not allowed to be tired. Those just aren’t things a leader does, let alone mention “publicly”.
A Leader is perfect, right?
Leaders never have bad days, right?
Leaders are nothing but motivational, inspirational, educational GODS, right?
And speaking of “Gods”… “Heaven Forbid” you mix religion and business or anything else for that matter, unless of course you’re “Praising God” and “Thanking Jesus” for every single thing that happens in your life because it’s a Blessing and without your God you’d be nothing and couldn’t do squat on your own. And that’s all good and fine if that’s your thing, just make sure you don’t say anything if you believe something else, or don’t believe at all. Believe me, I know. I get removed from a couple of so-called “friend” lists every time I share something pagan, no matter how positive and beautiful it is. And you know what? Good riddance. If you can’t accept me it’s YOUR loss. Not mine. If you think my beliefs are hurting you, you’ve got bigger problems that you need to deal with. Nothing like a good dose of hypocrisy to get ya going, right?
And if you don’t stay up all night every night working your tail off you must not want it, right? Anything else in your life doesn’t matter, right? It’s just an excuse, right? You do what you gotta do and I’ll do what I gotta do, okay?
Well… the long and short of it is this… if I have to pretend and be fake and throw away the rest of my life to get people to like and follow me because the real me isn’t good enough and my life doesn’t matter, then I will never be a leader. And that’s okay. I would rather be the real me with true friends and partners and a LIFE TO LIVE than a fake me with people who don’t have the foggiest clue who the REAL me is and a life that fell apart. I would rather be comfortable in my skin doing what I am comfortable doing, than HIDE MYSELF doing things that go against my personality just to get people to follow me. I’m not going to break out the pompoms and cheer for things I don’t believe in or support people I am not comfortable with just to keep up appearances. Everyone else is doing it! So what? I don’t want a following based on falsehoods. If you can’t ACCEPT ME for who I am, then you don’t belong anywhere near my footsteps and I don’t WANT to lead you.